I wrote before that I have been trying to find systems and processes to make my ADHD manageable without medication. On April 1st I had a wellness check with my dr and we decided it was time to try medication. She did not push me at all. We just talked about what more steps we could take and the risks associated with each. I decided at that point I was ready to try medication.
She put me on 150 mg of Wellbutrin. I take each morning close to 8 am. I do still have to put an alarm on my phone to take it, and I may have to have that alarm forever.
I don’t know how much the medicine has helped or will help. I do know that I want to be able to focus on the thing I am working on and complete tasks. I want the projects that are even a little bit hard to not be debilitatingly daunting to start. I want my moods to even out and not always be grumpy with everybody. I want to want to leave the house to see friends when that is safe again.
I have always done well mentally at times of change. I thrive when we are moving, or jobs changing, or kids starting school. I last at this state of high for somewhere between 3 weeks and 3 months. Those are the times I can do anything and everything. I can start being productive at 5 am and go until midnight and be fine the next day. It is the in-between times that are hard. It is the times when it feels like every day is the exact same that I start to fall into a pattern of “why”.
Right now we are in a time of great change. I am fully vaccinated (in the two week window of waiting for the vaccine to take full effect). Schoon has had his first shot. The kids will hopefully be going back to school next week. Schoon’s job will be changing at the end of next month. Now is when I can go and go and go with no troubles, so I can’t tell how the medicine is doing.
I started the medicine a week ago. I can say I don’t think I’m having negative side effects from it. I have tried to be very observant of my moods and physical variations from before I started taking the meds, but one of the aspects of ADHD that is very evident in my life is lack of working memory. That means that everything is “this is the most x has ever been” or not remembering tv shows or being on a commercial break from a tv show and not remembering what I am watching. That also means I don’t know how my body was a week ago. Maybe a journal would help, but I would remember to write in it for a day or two and then move on to the next thing, or I would forget where I put the journal. I love the idea of a bullet journal. Having the opportunity to keep the important pieces of my life from mental and physical health through to menu and activity planning in one place, but I have tried some form of this so many times and it has never stuck. Who knows maybe if I start a planner now that will be a visible sign that the medication is working.
Everything I have found says that at 1 week is where the medicine may start to show help, but it can take up to 4-6 weeks for it to take full effect. I plan to update again at 2 weeks, 1 month and 2 months… if I am still on it that long.
The Adventures of a Wild Jess 